Elaine and I were out shopping in Glasgow last weekend and decided to treat ourselves to a nice meal out. We were walking past the Thai Lemon Grass and thought we would give it a go.

The Good

The decor in here is fantastic, despite it being early on a Saturday evening they found us a table despite not having booked. It was quite noisy as there was a rowdy party through the back and we were sitting just next to the stairs but it was not too offputting.

The food was stunning! I was not expecting to be writing this so I never took a note of the full menu or what we both chose. They had a banquet style menu for approximately £20 per head. Starter was a mixed platter of spring rolls, fishcakes and chicken satay; two of each. This was followed by a terriaki beef salad which was delicious, there was a little fat on the beef, but I don’t mind this.

For the main courses we both ended up with seafood, Elaine had prawns and scallops with mushrooms and a black bean sauce whilst I had prawns and scallops with noodles. Both were awesome, if anything, Elaines tasted better than mine

The Bad

Just behind where we were sitting was the stairs to the ladies toilets and the area where the party was happening. There was a small table on which they had bowls of prawn crackers sitting, each empty table had a bowl sitting waiting for the next guests. Whenever they were removing the “finished” bowls from the tables they shared out any uneaten crackers amoungst the fresh full bowls!

Half way through Elaine’s bowl of rice, she found a hair. Had it been on the top we could have put it down to the waiting staff or having been blown across the room with the fancy ceiling fans they have but as it was in the middle we can only assume that it was from the kitchen staff.

The Ugly

When paying the bill the waitress handed me the remote terminal to pay by Switch. I was trying to ask if she had a preference if the tip was put through the machine or to leave in cash. However, she would not let me get a word in edgeways! She was too busy explaining to me how the machine worked and saying, “If you want to leave a tip, press Yes”, as she proceeded to press yes for me !

Now, service was NOT included in the bill, but I do not believe it should be “expected”. I was willing to forgive the “mistakes” listed above but by “forcing” me to leave a tip, she forced me to leave a paltry one rather than my usual 10%+

One Hundred Pushups

I faltered previously at week fix then subsequent events have meant that I have not been in the mindset for restarting this.

Tonight I went back and restarted at week 3, level 2 …… and failed.

Marching season is upon us. This year it was Larkhall’s honour to host a large procession.

It was intermittently rainy but there were smiles everywhere. Quite a bit of staggering as well as the marching ! I never saw any trouble or raised voices.

The police were out in force, I saw a few discrete conversations, but on they whole the police seemed to be in a fairly jovial mood too.

The funniest thing was the constant assumption that i was a press photographer ! This could have been because I was using a “real” camera with a long lens. It could have been because I was one of the few men NOT wearing a rangers top. I must be one of the few in Larkhall that does not even own a Rangers top. I don’t have a particular opinion on wearing them, I just have no place of it in my wardrobe!

Both Emma and Sarah were recently recognised for their hard work at school.

They make me so proud!

Previously I’ve been amused, as a non smoker, at the folks at the front door smoking.

This time I could hardly get into the building.

The front door hoards now have two competing factions, each as large as each other and both feverishly feeding their insatiable addictions.

The “older” crowds puffing away on their cigarettes.

The “younger” crowds texting away like crazy.

The funny thing is that; despite the fact that these people are obviously ill, they are willing to stand outside in their pajamas in horizontal rain to feed their respective addictions.

So why is my new name Snooty Pottybrains?

Copied this from here.

The following is excerpted from a children’s book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…

So:-

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:
a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush’s new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.